Daily Dose

                Ilang araw na ba akong ganito? Tambay sa room; lalabas lang pag kakain (puro pa bawal! XDD Masarap ang bawal), pag pupunta ng jane, may importanteng lakad, may shot o pag nautusan. Hindi ko na nga rin alam kung anung date na ngayon, hindi ko na rin kasi nache-check ung calendar ko sa dilim ng kwarto, daig ko pa ang ibang bahay na wala talagang kuryente. Ito, always nakaharap sa monitor ng laptop- nagsusulat, nagde-design at nanunuod ng kung anu-ano. Pati sa pagtulog, pahirapan. I need to take some sort of medication pa para lng makatulog.

            Basically, I’m a sincere type of person, for me, sincere is being honest and I value honesty in every way. I’d rather be true than avoid pretending amidst pressure-“SINCERE.” Sabi sa isang quotation—“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfilment.” Ilang challenging experience pa ang need kong ma-encounter sa life ko para masabing nakuha ko na ang “true fulfilment?” And, i’m the type of person who enjoys working with different kinds of individual, I love variations and I can appreciate individuality. Working with different types of people has always been a challenging thing to me, I love challenges and it keeps me going. Kaya ba paulit-ulit na nangyayari sa akin ang isang bagay dahil “I LOVE CHALLENGES” o dahil nd pa ako natututo kaya hindi ako maka-alis sa situation na ‘to? How harsh life is. In what way you want me to learn? Anung klase ng lesson ba ang dapat kong matututunan para mag level-up naman ako? Wala akong ibang sinisisi sa kung ano man ang nagyayari sakin ngayon, kung may dapat ako sisihin, yun ay ang sarili ko for being fragile and vulnerable. Sana, makalimutan ko lahat ng bad memories para mawala na yung pain na nafi-feel ko ngayon and sooner or later magiging okay na din ako. Kahit tempopary amnesia lang enough time na to start anew. Magiging masaya na ako nun. I prayed to god na kahit wag na sa lovelife basta sa career na lang, okay na ako, contented na ako, kahit pa tumanda akong dalaga, basta successful ang career, pwede na. Wag lang ako paulit-ulit na masaktan.

           

How Does It Feel?

As EVERYONE RUNS fast forward and you’re there running in slow motion, left behind trying to reach out to them, but there’s something pulling you back-how does it feel? Like swimming, a sudden undertow, as if an anchor was chained to your ankles, gasping for breath you struggle and try to reach the surface to have oxygen flow into your lungs. Yet you sink deeper the more you try to reach the surface.

                As you feel the uttermost emotion, love, as it drops like a plate falling onto the floor, shatters and scatters as bits and pieces flung all over. Listen to it collapse to its every foundation which demolishes too, and you are the talk of the town; today’s gossip. How does it feel? Like every natural and man-made disaster all joined together in perfect mayhem to raise havoc on you alone as it broadcasted to the whole world who just sits back and gacks about it.

                As life batters, tortures you immensely and leaves you high and dry, you’re left with absolutely nothing…no one to turn to, to hug and to hold. How does it feel? Like being given a life sentence to rot in prison, cooped up inside your cell. Deprived from all the other joys in life. Nor to be able to run freely with the herd, to group up with the pack or to fly with the flock.

                As you persevere in life just to get a taste of appreciation, to get to sniff that air and feel that warmth. Yet the best you gave wasn’t enough, it wasn’t treasured at all. It was just for the birds. How does it feel? Like the feelings that favorite toy of yours would have. The one that you always played with, stuffed in your bag and brought to school to show off to your friends and basically loved above all other toys you owned. Yet your favorite toy wasn’t your favorite anymore, you soon stashed it away in your closet and pulled it out every now and then when you felt like playing with it.

                As you think your life has

come to an end, even though only

one part of it is ravaged it’s just

completely over. One minute ev-

erything was alright, yet suddenly

life does a 180 on you; throws you

overboard and feeds you to the

sharks. How does it feel? Like lying

in your bed at night trying to sleep

away the feeling of sinking in an

ocean of depression and anguish.

You close your eyes slowly yet

Abruptly open them again due to

Gasping, sniffing, and sobbing and

You say to yourself amidst all of

That, “I shall wake up tomorrow,

See this all as a bad dream, and ev-

erything will be alright.”

Tsinelas

"Ang mga babae, madaldal/mabunganga." Oo, wala talagang tigil ang bibig nila sa pag-rachada sa kakasalita. Lalo na sa tuwing pinapaalala nila sayo na oras na para inumin ang iyong gamot, kapag nagtatanung sila kung kumain ka na ba, kapag ginising ka nila sa umaga upang hindi ma-late at sa mga pagkakataon na nag-aalala sila sayo at tinatanung kung nasaan ka na at bakit hindi ka pa umuuwi. Walang duda, madaldal nga. Hayaan mo na, balang araw, siguro magbabago din sila. Tipong maririnig mo lang ee "Oo", "Hinde" at "Pwede". Para kayong naglalaro ng Pinoy Henyo. Romantic siguro ng buhay nyo nun. "Ang mga babae, mashadong sentimental." Sinabi mo pa. Tandang tanda nga nila ang petsa at lugar kung saan kayo unang nag-date, isinulat niya din sa kanyang diary kung ano ang mga ginawa ninyo, nakatago at ingat na ingat siya sa mga larawan nyong dalawa, daig pa niya ang Smithsonian sa pag-aalaga ng mga iniregalo mo at kahit kailan hindi niya nalilimutan ang mga importanteng okasyon tulad ng anniversary, monthsary, weeksary o birthday mo. Nakaka-inis ba? Ok lang yan, malay mo next time, hindi na siya ganun. Tipong i-aasa na lang niya sa Facebook ang iyong kaarawan. Tapos tamang post na lang sa wall mo ng "hapi bday". "Ang mga babae, emosyonal." They cry about movies. They get teary with a romantic novel. They blush and gasp upon seeing a picture of a cute dog or a cuddly baby. Bakit ba ganun sila? Buti na lang tayo hindi. Kinikimkim lang naten lahat ng emosyon sa loob hanggang sa sumabog at atakihin sa puso o di naman kaya ee magpapakalasingtapos magwawala at maghahamon ng wrestling. Di ba mas logical un? Madalas pa mag-imagine na ikakasal kayo sa simbahan. Lagi nag a-iloveyou, imissyou, take care at mwah mwah sa text. Asar ka na ba at nacocornyhan? Ayos lang yan. Darating din siguro ang time na titigil siya at isesend ang mga un sa iba. Women are probably the greatest gift to men, from God, beside beer and sizzling sisig. At para sken, women deserve all advantages, lalo na sa pag-ibig. Sana lahat ng babae ay maging masaya ang lovelife. Sana, walang babaeng heart-broken, kasi, tayong mga lalake, we're meant to pursue them and it's okay if we fail from time to time. It's the way nature intended it. Gaya ng isang leon sa usa o pag-ikot ng earth sa paligid ng araw. Mas okay kung tayo na lang ung masasaktan. Ee sila? Isipin mo, nagkakaroon sila ng "dalaw" at nababaliw kada buwan, nabubuntis at nahihirapan ng 9 months, at pinaka matindi sa lahat, kailangan pa nilang panatilihing makinis at walang buhok ang kanilang mga kili-kili. Ano ba namang pasayahin sila at gawing "scar-free" ang kanilang buhay pag-ibig. And if you are with a great gal, do everything to make her happy. Don't ever break her heart. Wag kang magpa-uto sa mga statistics, na nagsasabing, mas marami ang babae sa lalake, kaya okay lang mang-chiks. Ano pa bang gusto mo? Hindi pa ba sapat na minahal ka niya sa kabila ng iyong pagiging engot at kawalan ng Romantic DNA sa katawan? Malaki man ang papolasyon nila sa mundo, napaka-liit ng tsansang makakilala ka ulet ng katulad niya na magtya-tyaga sayo. Tandaan, pansamantala ka mang maakit ng naglalakihang pulang high-heels o maaarteng makintab na sandals, mas masarap pa ring umuwe sa nag-iisang tsinelas ng buhay mo. :)

--Unkown (Philippine Pie)