Monokuro Boo

You speak as if I'm a paper doll. You define my facade with the point of your pen. You clothe me with such chromatic thoughts. You fold me to whatever form you prefer. And then you smile, to see such physique you have beautifully crafted with your words, with your thoughts.

And you see a curl from my lips, seemingly forming a smile. Yet, it is not what you perceive. I am not smiling back at you.

Perhaps, the day will come that I shall, when you perceive is other than my physique. When you have conceived that I am a soul, not just a PRETTY PAPER DOLL.

--Lynn Nhuk


Sunday, September 30, 2012

Daily Dose



                Ilang araw na ba akong ganito? Tambay sa room; lalabas lang pag kakain (puro pa bawal! XDD Masarap ang bawal), pag pupunta ng jane, may importanteng lakad, may shot o pag nautusan. Hindi ko na nga rin alam kung anung date na ngayon, hindi ko na rin kasi nache-check ung calendar ko sa dilim ng kwarto, daig ko pa ang ibang bahay na wala talagang kuryente. Ito, always nakaharap sa monitor ng laptop- nagsusulat, nagde-design at nanunuod ng kung anu-ano. Pati sa pagtulog, pahirapan. I need to take some sort of medication pa para lng makatulog.

            Basically, I’m a sincere type of person, for me, sincere is being honest and I value honesty in every way. I’d rather be true than avoid pretending amidst pressure-“SINCERE.” Sabi sa isang quotation—“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfilment.” Ilang challenging experience pa ang need kong ma-encounter sa life ko para masabing nakuha ko na ang “true fulfilment?” And, i’m the type of person who enjoys working with different kinds of individual, I love variations and I can appreciate individuality. Working with different types of people has always been a challenging thing to me, I love challenges and it keeps me going. Kaya ba paulit-ulit na nangyayari sa akin ang isang bagay dahil “I LOVE CHALLENGES” o dahil nd pa ako natututo kaya hindi ako maka-alis sa situation na ‘to? How harsh life is. In what way you want me to learn? Anung klase ng lesson ba ang dapat kong matututunan para mag level-up naman ako? Wala akong ibang sinisisi sa kung ano man ang nagyayari sakin ngayon, kung may dapat ako sisihin, yun ay ang sarili ko for being fragile and vulnerable. Sana, makalimutan ko lahat ng bad memories para mawala na yung pain na nafi-feel ko ngayon and sooner or later magiging okay na din ako. Kahit tempopary amnesia lang enough time na to start anew. Magiging masaya na ako nun. I prayed to god na kahit wag na sa lovelife basta sa career na lang, okay na ako, contented na ako, kahit pa tumanda akong dalaga, basta successful ang career, pwede na. Wag lang ako paulit-ulit na masaktan.
           

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